My Abortion Story

Marci Ferrell has never spoken publicly about having an abortion when she was 18 until this week on the radio program HAVEN Today. Her story comes in contrast with Jenny Kutner, an editor on feminism at Salon, who posted an article last week about getting ready for her abortion. Jenny ends by saying that her only concern is that she gets her birth control right next time. With that in mind, may the Lord minister to you through Marci’s story.
Charles Morris – HAVEN Ministries
When I was 18 I had an abortion. I was unmarried, living with relatives, and I thought having a baby at this time would just add to the problems I already had. I was leading a rebellious life and not living at home. I couldn’t imagine sharing this with the family I was living with, so I took matters into my own hands.

That day was the ugliest day of my life. It hurt so much and it was extremely difficult to come home unable to share what I had been through with anyone. There was much time spent alone in my room crying with no one to turn to for help. There hasn’t been a day in my life that I don’t think about that little baby whose life I took.

Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.”

We are all created and designed by a wonderful God, and the same is true of every child in the womb. No one is a mistake and no baby is an accident.

Several years later I found myself in the same situation, pregnant and unmarried. This time I was determined to keep the baby. I had not healed from my first aborted pregnancy and couldn’t imagine going through that kind of pain and guilt again. I told the father that he didn’t have to marry me or help with the baby, that I would take care of this little one on my own instead.

Charles Morris asks, “What motivates you to try and talk young women out of having abortions today?” Taken from Marci’s full interview on HAVEN Today.

To my surprise, Doug wanted to get married and raise the baby with me. After 27 years I still find myself growing more and more in love with my Doug everyday. And we have been blessed with two beautiful children, a boy and a girl.

Doug’s parents were Christians, so we had heard the gospel a lot from his side of the family. As I look back, I can see the Lord drawing us to Him. I started attending a small neighborhood church that wasn’t preaching the gospel, and I assumed that I would go to heaven because I was being a good person.

I did not have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

But then I met Trena while exercising and she invited me back to her home for coffee. She loves to talk about Jesus and when she shared with me about the work of the Lord in her life, she helped me understand that I was missing something. I was religious but I didn’t have a relationship with Jesus like Trena did.

I was missing Jesus.

I took the kids to Trena’s church that Sunday (Doug stayed home), and I was led to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. For the first time I realized I was a sinner against a holy and righteous God. I understood that God is perfect and will punish sin. But God is also rich in mercy and sent His perfect Son, Jesus Christ, to die as a substitute and ransom for rebellious sinners. Jesus willingly died on the cross and took the punishment for my sin, so that through my repentance and faith in Him I was saved from the wrath to come.

What a glorious moment when my eyes were opened to the free gift of salvation through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ! The Lord saved Doug later that week and I cannot even express to you the changes that happened in such a short amount of time in our home. There was a celebration with Doug’s family and with our new family of believers.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17

Life is a gift and it is precious. Since I have come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ I have come to know that I am truly forgiven for the choice I made to abort my first baby. There is so much freedom and forgiveness found at the cross when we confess our sins in humble repentance to the Lord and know that He offers us forgiveness and grace, even when we don’t deserve it.

Marci Ferrell is a wife, mother, grandmother, and blogger of “Thankful Homemaker.” You can read her full testimony on her website.



All Abby Johnson ever wanted to do was help women. She believed in a woman’s right to choose, and as one of the youngest Planned Parenthood clinic directors in the nation, she was involved in upwards of 22,000 abortions. Until the day she saw something that changed everything, leading Abby Johnson to join her former enemies at 40 Days for Life, and become one of the most ardent pro-life advocates in America.


  • thabang says:

    I also thank god for everything he’s doing in my life, and he gave his only son jesus christ to die for us.

  • thabang says:

    You did wat was right dear.who am i to judge u.

  • Arnold Bokungu says:

    I had an abortion last year in May and till today I cry about it… Not because I still love the man but because I allowed to put myself in such situation…and I killed an innocent in the process… I did not want to have an abortion as I was in a relationship for almost two years and I was I love with the guy at the time and I thought his family cared about me… The moment I fell pregnant and I found that he cheated and lied… We started having arguments and then he broke up with me and asked me to remove that pregnancy… He stated ” that things isn’t a bby yet” I already have a child and did not want to have another one without a dad… I have a cyst inside my womb so when I was pregnant I had terrible cramp pain so every night he used to pray for the baby and sing for him/her… The moment we broke up and asked me to kill our baby his family and him blanked me and never heard from them again… I did practically everything to be accepted by them and I honestly thought they meant well… He is now with the girl he cheated with… I am mourning for that child while he’s there having fun… The day of the abortion he promised he would there but never turned up… I took the first pill and waited for him, he basically lied and turned off his phone… I went to his workplace and found him working… I cried in front of everyone I fell betrayed… We both saw our baby on the scan… We both prayed for that baby… In the end he decided we should kill it… I ask for forgiveness everyday… I do hope that one day I get over it as he has… But I forgive you for all you’ve done and my the Lord forgive us.

  • Hellary says:

    I know the pain of killing your own child.When I was 19 years old I met a guy whom I thought loved me but only to my surprise when I became pregnant, one thing that he told me was to abort our child. I loved him so much then I did what he suggested because I didn’t want to lose him.He never cared of what I went through after the abortion he never even said he is sorry. I cry each and everyday alone, spending sleepless nights. But I just pray and hope God forgives me

  • Pam says:

    As one who survived abuse as a child, my innocence was stolen. My mother was killed in 1963. My father remarried and her son raped me. He even shared me with his friends. The thing is God saw all this happen to me. He did nothing to help me. So, if he knew me in the womb…He knew my life before I did. Then when I was 10, my father took his own life….He knew that, too.
    When I had an abortion, He was in the room. And right before the procedure, I asked Him to forgive me. He did, right then and there. A feeling that I can only describe as peace came over me, a knowing I did the right thing. That I would not give birth to a child conceived out of sin. That tiny seed, had not been given the breath of God. The hardest part of all this, is knowing the ‘righteous’ opinions are not what God is telling me. He loved me enough to forgive me, yet because of the anti-abortion politics of today, I cannot stand to be around those who call it murder. It is like Christ being tortured over and over…because I did nothing God didn’t do. I sacrificed a part of me so I could live and know that sin does not separate me from God anymore. That is my Gospel story. Gifted with empathy, feel the pain of others and compassion. I condemn no one, I seek to love and understand that we all are at freewill. My God comes before country. Jesus is not a political opinion…His spirit lives in me!

  • Cierra says:

    Ladies, God forgives you. The best thing you can do now is stand up for the unborn! God bless you all!

  • Cierra says:

    Pam, Gods life was in the child from conception, and they were not a sin. If you are sorry for killing it, God forgives and is merciful. God is loving and wants to hold you in his arms. And God bless you if you choose to stand up for all life now. But He does not condone aborting a child in any circumstance. Wrong is wrong. The only thing that makes a difference is choosing the right which is taking care of all life. A child in the womb deserves life too. God bless you and may he help heal you, so you can stand for the unborn. God bless.

  • Mary Grace Asia says:

    God Bless you & your family!!! God loves you!!

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