Love

How do you have a successful marriage? Whether you are a Christian, skeptic, single, longtime married person, or someone about to be engaged—there are many different ways to answer this question. And yet Tim and Kathy Keller argue that the Bible’s vision for marriage is far greater and more glorious than anything our modern culture would have us believe.

On today’s episode of the Great Stories podcast, Charles Morris revisits a conversation from the archives with his old friends Tim and Kathy Keller. Their book, The Meaning of Marriage, serves as a launching off point for this in-depth conversation that covers the gamut of what marriage really means from the Lord’s perspective.


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The word “love” has many meanings. There is romantic love, physical love, compassionate love, spiritual love, and even the kind of love you have for whatever is entertaining you at the moment.

But what is at the heart of this broadly defined human emotion? Where does it come from? In order to answer these questions, we need to go to the definitive source on love—Scripture.
Here are 10 of the most notable verses on love in the New Testament:

1. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. — John 13:35

2. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.— 1 John 4:8

3. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. — 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

4. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. — John 3:16

5. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. — John 15:13

6. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. — 1 Peter 4:8

7. Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” — Matthew 22:37-39

8. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. — 1 John 3:16

9. Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. — 1 John 4:7

10. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. — 1 Corinthians 13:13

B-TFLL-productThe Five Love Languages

When it comes to how we love one another romantically, there is no better book to biblically guide you to a healthy relationship than Dr. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages.

While love is a many splendored thing, it is sometimes a very confusing thing, too. And as people come in all varieties, shapes, and sizes, so do their choices of personal expressions of love. But more often than not, the giver and the receiver express love in two different ways. This can lead to misunderstanding, quarrels, and even divorce. Dr. Gary Chapman identifies five basic languages of love and then guides couples towards a better understanding of their unique languages of love. Learn to speak and understand your mate’s love language, and in no time you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return.
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Have you ever wondered how Good Friday got its name? You would think the day we set aside to remember Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross would get a less cheerful designation, but I believe there’s a good reason why Good Friday’s name continues to stand the test of time.

Many scholars point to the fact that “good” used to have a definition much closer to that of “holy,” but the original meaning doesn’t translate very well in today’s English vocabulary. So why don’t we change the name?

Ultimately, it’s because everything that happened on the first Good Friday showed the full extent of Jesus’ love for us.

John’s Gospel begins like Genesis 1 and ends with a hint at what would come in Revelation. It’s a mini-Bible in one Gospel with the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, who appears in the first chapter to invite his disciples to “come and see.” Those are words of invitation—not only to them but to us. Jesus wants us to “come and see” who he is, to see his love, and to see how far that love will lead him.

Everything Jesus did was an act of love, but it was all leading up to the day of his death when he would demonstrate the full extent of his love.

It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. — John 13:1

The Goodness of Good Friday

Good Friday is good in spite of the brutality of Jesus’ death on the cross. It’s good in spite of the betrayal of Judas and the cowardly desertion of his disciples. It’s good in spite of the miscarriage of justice, the corruption of the Jewish leaders and the practical self-serving decision of Pontius Pilate.

Jesus is what’s good about Good Friday. He showed us that his love has no limits, and that his love is determined to break down all barriers between him and us.

When the Roman soldiers and temple guards came to arrest Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, he immediately identified himself as the one they were looking for and said, “Since I am the one you want, let these others go.” Even as Simon Peter drew a sword to keep them from taking his Lord away, Jesus said, “Put your sword back into its sheath. Shall I not drink from the cup the Father has given me?” (John 18:3-11)

It’s clear that Jesus wasn’t taken by force; He gave himself intentionally. Like he told Peter to sheath his sword, Jesus sheathed his own power and refused to save himself. We must never make the mistake of thinking Jesus was taken by force. He could have destroyed all those who came to arrest him, but he didn’t.  And as he allowed himself to be arrested, his only terms were that his disciples would be allowed to go free.

“Since I am the one you want, let these men go.”

Do you hear his love in those words? This picture of love and mercy toward his disciples is a powerful image of the same love he demonstrates for us on the cross. Jesus loves us more than he loves himself. He gives himself so we can be spared, and he surrenders himself so that we can we can be released from sin and restored to our Father.

From the Garden he goes to the high priest and then to Pontius Pilate before being turned over to the soldiers.

“The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed him in a purple robe and went up to him again and again, saying,  “Hail, king of the Jews!” And they struck him in the face. — John 19:2-3

Even in moments of humiliation and suffering, Jesus is majestic in his love. As he emerged into the view of the crowd wearing his a purple robe and crown of thorns, he silently endured the the chief priests and their officials chanting, “Crucify! Crucify!” (John 19:6)

He’s awesome in this moment of humiliation because he’s doing it voluntarily. Jesus said the Good Shepherd would die to protect his sheep, and that’s exactly what he’s doing. We’re helpless to protect ourselves from the evil one, but when our Shepherd King goes to his death he throws himself in front of us and protects us. He does it because he loves us more than he loves himself.

“Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.”

And this is it, this is the full extent of his love:

“So the soldiers took charge of Jesus. Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha). Here they crucified him, and with him two others — one on each side and Jesus in the middle.— John 19:17-18

What do we do with a love like this?

We hear from a lot of listeners and readers who wonder if God loves them. They’re looking for evidence of his love in their own circumstances. But when we do that, we’re looking in the wrong place—Jesus demonstrates his love for me and for you personally on the cross. He died for YOU. Take it personally. Take it the way Paul did in Galatians 2:20 where he said, “I live by faith in the one who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Rose Marie Miller is a good friend of mine who who heard the message of the cross many times but never took it personally for herself. The wife of a pastor, she knew the gospel backwards and forwards, but it never got past the surface of her heart. She worked hard, she tried her best, and she couldn’t really see her need for this sacrifice. And if you don’t see that you’re a sinner, then you won’t be able to see the love of Jesus. Sadly, that was Rose Marie.

Until one Sunday, as she was sitting in a worship service half-listening to her husband preach, it came time for communion. Her husband raised the loaf of french bread and broke it with a loud crack saying, “This is my body broken for you.” And at that moment, she finally saw it—the spear of the soldiers was piercing and breaking the Body of Christ for her sins. Jesus was suffering this terrible death for her sins. She took it personally—Jesus died for me. Later she would say, “It was like a fire entered my heart, burning away at my intense self-centered moralism.”

The love of Jesus is meant to break our hearts. We look at the cross and we see our sin and the punishment our sins deserve. Whether they are flagrant sins of the flesh or the hard-hearted, self-righteous sins of a Pharisee, Jesus is there in our place, taking on the consequences of our sins and dying so that we can be spared.

The cross humbles us and captures us and binds us to Jesus. That’s what it’s meant to do. And that is what’s so good about Good Friday.

About the Author

As the leader of the Haven Ministries, Charles Morris is always thinking of ways to lead Christians and non-Christians to Christ—hence the familiar slogan, “Telling the great story … it’s all about Jesus.” A former secular journalist, Charles has worked for United Press International, and as a press secretary for two former U.S. senators. He and his wife, Janet, have authored several books, including Missing Jesus. Charles’ latest book is Fleeing ISIS, Finding Jesus: The Real Story of God At Work.

Most of the thoughts above are taken from broadcasts of Haven Today. Corum Hughes serves as the editor of this blog and coordinator for Haven’s digital content. A graduate of Moody Bible Institute, Corum lives in Boise, ID with his wife Molly.

The word “love” has many meanings. There is romantic love, physical love, compassionate love, spiritual love, and even the kind of love you have for whatever is entertaining you at the moment.
But what is at the heart of this broadly defined human emotion? Where does it come from? In order to answer these questions, we need to go to the definitive source on love—Scripture.
Here are 10 of the most notable verses on love in the New Testament:

1. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. — 1 John 3:16

2. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.— 1 John 4:8

3. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. — 1 Corinthians 4-8a

4. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. — John 3:16

5. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. — John 15:13

6. Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. — 1 John 4:7

7. Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” — Matthew 22:37-39

8. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. — John 13:35

9. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. — 1 Peter 4:8

10. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. — 1 Corinthians 13:13

 
 

 

Are you prepared to love someone with hesed love?

According to Paul Miller in his book A Loving Life, hesed love is “translated as ‘steadfast love.’ It combines commitment with sacrifice. Hesed is one-way love. Love without an exit strategy.”

Naomi, in the book of Ruth, really needed this type of love. First, she suffers through famine in Bethlehem. Then her family journeys to Moab, where her husband and sons die, leaving Naomi without any males to provide for her. Her daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah, didn’t even have any children that could grow up to provide for her. Naomi is left bereft.

After her husband and sons die, Naomi blesses her daughters-in-law, saying, “May the Lord deal kindly with you.” Miller points out that “deal kindly” actually means hesed. Then she wishes them rest, a shalom type of rest.

She tells them to return to their people so they can have the hope of marrying new husbands. She knows that if they go back to Bethlehem with her, then surely no Jewish man would marry them.

“Naomi gives Ruth and Orpah freedom, marriage, and children, and takes on her already broken life, loneliness, and poverty. By giving up what little hope she has left, she gives them a hope and a future. By deepening her own death, she offers them a reason for living. That kind of exchange anticipates Jesus’s death, where he takes our sin and gives us his gift of acceptance, righteousness, and purity … That’s why, subconsciously, we are allergic to love. We rightly sense that death is at the center of love.”

In her grief, Naomi feels she has no choice but to order Ruth and Orpah away. And then, in one of the most famous moments of the Old Testament, Ruth shows Naomi hesed love:

“For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16)

Yet even after this powerful statement of love, Naomi returns to her village in Bethlehem and says, “The Lord has brought me back empty.” Ruth was standing right there, the beautiful words spoken to her mother-in-law were already forgotten.

Naomi was bitter, and Ruth loved her anyway.

Naomi is the ultimate example of someone who needed hesed love. “When you love with hesed love,” Paul Miller writes, “you bind yourself to the object of your love, no matter what the response is. So if the object of your love snaps at you, you still love that person … Hesed is a stubborn love.”

Paul Miller talks about what it means to live a loving life.

Are we prepared to love people with a hesed type of love? Most likely not. That’s why I’m thankful for Miller’s book, which explains the type of love that Christ asks us to have for our spouses, children, and all that we encounter.

And I’m grateful for Christ Himself, who loved me with a hesed type of love when I wanted nothing to do with Him. And for the Holy Spirit, the machine behind any hesed type of action that I ever do.

As we lose everything to love others, there, in our death and sacrifice, we actually find the biggest prize of all: a rich relationship with God.

Lindsey M. Roberts spent years writing exclusively for secular journalism, including such outlets as The Washington Post, Architect, and Gray magazine, before she first tried to write about Jesus. She’s thrilled to explore in words how everything from cleaning the kitchen three times a day to delighting in the maritime history of Nantucket is an opportunity to meet and glorify God. Lindsey lives with her husband, a pastor and U.S. Army Reserve chaplain, and son in Virginia.

I just got off the phone with an Army wife whose husband is still deployed in Afghanistan. Mine has been back for five weeks now, and things are just starting to feel normal. But for this woman, life is anything but. She goes to bed wondering if she’ll get to talk to her husband tomorrow—or ever again. She wakes up hoping that she won’t get sick so that someone can take care of her daughter. She’s exhausted by staying up late to do the bills and clean the house before her alarm reminds her she also has to get to her own job each day.

Maybe there are people in your church like this woman. Someone who is going through a long period of suffering. A new widow, a parent who’s lost a child, maybe even a new parent who’s struggling with months of colic. Or a child who’s lost a beloved parent. After the initial round of meals, how do you help?

I can only speak from my experience, but it was a pretty powerful lesson that God blessed me with, and one I’ll never forget. Here are five ideas for helping those who are hurting that I think really work.

1. Ask how they are, and really listen.
In our culture, when we say, “How are you?” we don’t really want the long, drawn-out sob story, right? So don’t use that question when you are desiring to get at how someone is really feeling. Instead, try what one woman asked me: “What is one thing that is going well that’s surprised you? And what is one thing that’s hard that’s surprised you?” She challenged me to find the joy in my life despite my hard circumstances and she uncovered the burdens on my heart.

2. Find needs and fill them. 
Great questions like the ones above provide you with plenty of fodder for things that you can do. I answered that woman that I really needed a teenager to watch my newborn son for a few hours so that I could run an errand or get some work done every now and then and she volunteered her teenage daughter. Get creative. Tell someone you’re coming over to clean his or her kitchen, and ask when a good time is to do that. Go to the grocery store and ask what you can pick up. Buy a book you think this person might like and send it with a nice card in the mail. And don’t forget the ministry of presence. Bring over lunch and stay for an hour—it might be the difference between a good day and a bad one. More than fulfilling actual needs, doing something loving is a tangible way for someone to see that he or she is not alone.

3. Pray and encourage them.
When you tell somebody that you’re going to pray, make sure to pray for this person on the spot or when you get to your car so that you follow through. (Follow through could be the sixth way of loving someone who’s hurting. If you make promises, keep them to the best of your ability.) And then call or write a note later and remind them that you are still praying. Better yet, find a verse to share, or pray with this person on the phone or over coffee.

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” —1 Thessalonians 5:11

4. Guard your heart against the evil one. And forgive yourself when you fail.
After learning the hard way what it is to suffer, you would think I’d be the first to help others who are suffering. But my heart is just as sinful as yours. When I saw someone hurting recently and thought of a way to help, I also thought of about 10 ways I could get out of helping. Guard yourself against Satan’s lies that say that someone is doing just fine when you know otherwise. Don’t listen to him when he says that you’re too busy to help. And make sure to forgive yourself when you fail to love someone as you ought or want to. We can point people to Jesus but we can’t be Jesus. And in that knowledge, we remain poor and needy, too.

5. Repeat.
Help others again and again. Learn from your mistakes. Grow. Don’t worry when you tried to help but it didn’t work like you wanted it to. Sin boldy in your desire to help.

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” —Colossians 3:23

Other resources:
Depression: Resources for a Bleak Winter
Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness by Ed Welch
Missing Jesus: Find Your Life in His Great Story by Charles and Janet Morris

 

Lindsey M. Roberts is the editor of the All About Jesus blog. She spent years writing exclusively for secular journalism, including such outlets as The Washington Post, Architect, and Gray magazine, before she first tried to write about Jesus. She’s thrilled to explore in words how everything—cleaning the kitchen three times a day, delighting in the maritime history of Nantucket, describing the flavor profiles of different coffees—is an opportunity to meet and glorify God. Lindsey lives with her husband, a pastor and U.S. Army Reserve chaplain, and son in Virginia.